Stuck in the John


Just because New York has a clean, well-lighted “public” bathroom sponsored by Charmin, you still have to keep your wits about you. This is New York, after all. A tourist (and regular Polis reader) sent in this rather hilarious comment about my post regarding the Charmin public toilets at Times Square, which I noted was a brilliant PR move (the writer happens to work for a PR firm):

I was in the city Thursday and Friday of last week and visited the mighty shrine to Charmin to wait in line for a freshly scrubbed bathroom. Once it was my turn, an attendant welcomed me to door #12 and informed me to lock the door behind me. Once inside, I noticed the clean environment and cheery Charmin-esque music blaring through speakers and that the door construction was a little shoddy…loose purse hook, flimsy door material. When I tried to unlock the door, the deadbolt jammed and I couldn’t get out.

I felt a rush of panic because I realized that the line was quite a distance away from my door (maybe 20 feet) and the music was really loud, so I worried no one would hear me. I frantically started wiggling the door handle hoping someone outside would notice a bathroom visit run amok. When I didn’t get a response, I started pounding on the door (a little worried that I might bust right through) and after about 30 seconds, someone came over and wrestled with the door handle.

I eventually got out (I must have looked completely bewildered) and dashed outside for a gasp of fresh air. On the way out, a cheery Charmin agent asked if I enjoyed my stay while poised to write my comments on his clipboard. When I responded that I was stuck in my stall for a couple minutes, he smiled and said have a good day. …

Toilet paper provided, but bring your own allen wrench.

5 Responses to Stuck in the John

  1. gee says:

    Haha… Locked in the bathroom.. I can feel the fresh air in there 😉

  2. Panic mode ensued, huh? The bathroom looks pretty nice from here though!

  3. Cars says:

    Nice Batthroom……

  4. […] Now we’re talking smart public toilet design. Victoria, BC is having such a problem with nighttime public urination, the city as installed a test case temporary urinal that disappears underground during the day and pops up at night. We need at least two of these on St. Marks Place, one at Astor Square and another near Tompkins Square Park. I guess the ladies still have to wait in line like we always do, while the “girls gone wild” crowd and the guys who love them get their very own three-way urinal design: By day, the Urilift is lowered below street level for a nice clean look. Then at night, an operator comes by with a remote and the Urilift hydraulically lifts to sidewalk level in about two minutes. Then the unit is ready to serve all the nighttime party animals who don’t mind peeing in a very exposed public urinal. […]

  5. Synccountee says:

    I was exactly looking for something like that. Are you playing with my rare bomber I have read a good joke in internet 😉 What happens when a ghost haunts a theater? The actors get stage fright.

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